I want to take you into my arms and tighten so you will know someone is there
I want to show you my scars
I want to shake you
I want to take you to the natural history museum and show you the mastodon
I want to cut myself in front of you to see if you are real
I want to collect a little bit of the blood to put in a vial so you have something to hang from your rear view mirror
I want to scare you just to tell you everything will be alright
I want to stare into your eyes and see if I can get them to dialate just by thinking about it
I want to stay up just to watch you sleep
I want you to live

I stare at the ceiling through the shadows

and yet I can make out the nightmare, just enough to

remind me of all the sins that I have committed in my mind.

where are you my friend, we have been here before and

your reach is the only thing real, but, that was yesterday

and I'm sorry I don't believe in myself anymore

I'm walking down the street, the concrete molds around my feet like shallow quicksand, I can feel everything that has occurred here before, step by step.
I step over the area that has been thrown up on, several times, I feel the asault, the cars screaming by, everyone that has spit on this piece of newspaper that floats almost as a protest to gravity, to the street itself.

am i insane or just unemployable?

the night covers, the city lights burn

sitting, watching the water flow into the gutters

the wind carries a newspaper, floats by like the ghost of a lost friend

its funny, I can feel the concrete surging with life underneath me

if I put my finger in the crack I know its alive and that underneath me is the heart, the generator

its just like me

i feel out
i am considering bleeding myself to get rid of it
just like they did in the 1800"s
i am going to put leeches on my heart


it's not that easy to be free
don't concern yourself with reality
because
we will sleep forever

wake from this dream

it was the Summer of '89 I lost myself
now there is this summer always within me
never to turn
even in the winter I burn with a beautiful nightmare inside
would somebody please put a pin in me to let it out

Matisyahu Summerfest 2008-06-30t01 Escape