I want to take you into my arms and tighten so you will know someone is there
I want to show you my scars
I want to shake you
I want to take you to the natural history museum and show you the mastodon
I want to cut myself in front of you to see if you are real
I want to collect a little bit of the blood to put in a vial so you have something to hang from your rear view mirror
I want to scare you just to tell you everything will be alright
I want to stare into your eyes and see if I can get them to dialate just by thinking about it
I want to stay up just to watch you sleep
I want you to live

I stare at the ceiling through the shadows

and yet I can make out the nightmare, just enough to

remind me of all the sins that I have committed in my mind.

where are you my friend, we have been here before and

your reach is the only thing real, but, that was yesterday

and I'm sorry I don't believe in myself anymore