So I was laying on the grass last night and I was
staring up at the sky and I saw three distinct flases of light.
I gazed up and a voice came out of the sky saying, "everything you need to
know is written outside of the 711 on 500 N and University Ave." So I rushed
down there and arrived with such anticipation that I had to go in and
get a 44 oz DIet Coke and a pack of Ho Ho's. I went outside and looked down in
front of me and it was written, "Do not trust any one behind a taco cart
for the next three and a half months."